the ‘typical’ delhi girl

“you’re from delhi? south delhi? wow, you’re not like the typical delhi girl at all!”. this was the 4th time some one said that to me one week into my college in pune. i had no idea what they were talking about because as far as i know, i have been been born and brought up in the typical punjabi-delhi family, living in a typical south delhi locality, studying in a typical delhi, public school (delhi public school actually). how much more ‘typical’ could it get?

“you’re more chilled out, you know, laid back.” 

so over a span of one month i realized that a typical delhi girl is considered to be a snooty, arrogant, narcissistic vixen who’s too pampered to indulge in things common people do. too bad i never got the chance to meet her in 18 years of my life spent in delhi. but well, after spending a month in pune, i had to switch my college (which is another story)  and shift back to delhi to join JMC, an all girls, south campus ,Delhi University college therefore giving me the perfect opportunity to meet the infamous ‘typical’ delhi girl.

on my first day in the new college, i was sort of prepared to receive a huge culture shock in terms of attitude of people and the  social mannerisms in general but the only contrast i could make out was the change from seeing formal shirts and trousers around me to shorts and sundresses which was sort of refreshing actually. every one i met was pleasingly warm to me and helped me to catch up with what i had missed. so day 1- no ‘typical’ delhi girl encounter.

4 months have passed ever since and i have met so, sooo many different types of girls. there is one who’d drink like an irish at a party at night and reach on the field at 7.30 am sharp for soccer training and shoot some badass goals the next day. there’s one who’d come off as so intimidating when you talk to her but boy, i bet you’ll have one of the most intellectually enriching conversations with her if you tried. there’s one who wears the prettiest zara dresses on a saturday night but knows where to pick out the best clothes in sarojni nagar at the monday market. there’s one who’s too cool to shop at sarojni but she’s never too cool to help you out when you’re in need. there’s one who never travels by the auto but always lets us use her car and chauffeur when we want to go hang out after college. 

i still haven’t figured out which one of them is the ‘typical’ delhi girl so i think its time we stop generalizing them. the only thing they all have in common is that they’re all living the fast life, working towards their goals and chasing their dreams. man! they are walking balls of fire fueled by their ambitions. snicker at these ambitions if you want but don’t ridicule their attitude. i don’t know if i am one or not but the ‘typical’ delhi girl is hardcore!

 

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boys are gorgeous

you know you like it when your new shirt gets noticed and you receive compliments for it. that satisfaction of approval feels so good.  But the best compliments are the ones you receive for your own attribute, be it physical or characteristical.  it makes you feel so full of glee thinking about how a person noticed something about YOU solely! it’s just human. also, men love compliments as much as women do.

i came to a realization that i have, almost through out my life, withheld these appreciations from boys because of the fear of them coming out too moronically. not the ‘hey, rockin’ those aviators brahh’ compliments but the ‘its so fascinating to see your eyes brighten up when you talk about your goals’ compliments.

so let me make up for it by saying that- boys are gorgeous. they look so delightful while running. tall boys give the best hugs (the only people i like hugging). they smell nice. its the cutest when they give their girlfriends their hoodies. guys who are musicians are so charming. guys who dedicate songs to girls are the best. boys who talk about politics or a cause so inquisitively are so captivating. boys who don’t turn arrogant after getting too many compliments are cool.

(if you’re a boy and i know you and i was never able to tell you any of the above that applies to you, please feel free to accept the compliment now)

I’m so bored of hearing and reading posts about how ‘mystically beautiful’ girls are. phshh why thanks! my dog seems ‘mystically beautiful’ too when he barks in his sleep (which is adorable). but all i mean to ask is why isn’t any one expected to notice the same things in boys that girls generally wish to hear?

is it just me or it really is commendable how men bare the feminist band wagon expecting them to treat women equally but at the same time, they have to live up to the chivalry expected from them. how they earn the ‘bad boy’ image to attract girls but end up getting termed as an ayehole instead. how even in this feminism driven society girls still wish for boys to initiate interaction as by social norm and then if they don’t click, the boy has to face the rejection or head straight to the ‘friend zone’. isn’t it so adorable how they actually consider putting axe deodorant for girls inspired by it’s advertisement, no matter how silly it is?

BUT again, that’s just my point of view. im not trying to change the social dynamics but i sure hope that the next time i admire something about a guy, I’ll try to lower my ego and tell him.

oh so you like that song? Excuse me while I hyperventilate

There are 2 kinds of people in the world-

  • Those who listen to a song on the radio/tv/internet and appreciate it (normal people basically).
  • Then there are the people who scrounge for new music in the underground music world, discover peculiar sounds, develop a liking for the artist of the song and then fall in love with their music. They see the artist/band grow before them and take pride in their work as for their own chid.

The latter are as annoying as a crying baby on a plane and unfortunately, Im one of them. We are the people who believe that if you seek, your soul finds comfort in music. We believe that a song itself can tell so much about a person and what he’s been through. our tastes in music change with our moods and our personality. Music connects people, music saves people.

So if next time you hum a song by The Kooks or play one by Nicky Romero and you find me hugging you to death, telling you that i admire your taste in music (or that we can get married next saturday) please try to understand that i spent my teenage sending them fan mails and tweets so it really matters to me. Nothing in my life could top my euphoria when I got to know that I was featured on Nicky Romero’s podcast and i still gloat over it from time to time to remind myself that life has offered me good moments.

BUT God! We are so possessive about our music (we even refer to it as ‘ours’ phfftt). We cry within if we get to know that our favorite band is performing near by and we cant see them live. Ah yes, we also hate the guts of those who get to go to their concert even though they know nothing about their music (and can barely pronounce their name right). That’s pretty irrational but sorry, can’t help it.

Also, the most muddled up and helpless situation for us is when the band/artist starts going main stream. we want them to achieve fame and recognition but we also want them to remain exclusive to us. i actually had to control my self from high-fiving two random 12 year old girls in the mall for singing ‘i could be the one’ by Avicii on the escalator. Had i been on the escalator for longer, i probably would have ended up telling them about how special that song is to me. I swear it takes effort to not weird-out on people but the music is worth it!

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So I know it’s past midnight but I hope this still counts for my NaBloPoMo.

And this is pisty, my 13 year old Pekingese dog. Isn’t he a cute heart? Chillin’ on my notes and all :3

dear diary?

i still haven’t figured out whether nostalgia is a good feeling or a bitter one because even if i reminisce  about the happiest times i have had in the past, i always end up feeling dejected and blue. that’s one reason i hate writing a diary or a journal. i wouldn’t want to recall what happened in my day because i’ve already lived the moments and i cant live them again. even whilst reading a diary from long ago, what i feel is far from content. i’m not the person who wrote the diary any more and i wont be the same person tomorrow either.

but then there are moments so exquisite, so life changing that you want to keep them with you forever. these moments pass ever so quickly, like sand slipping out of your hand and the strange part is that you rarely know then that these moments would mean so much to you in future. these are the moments that become experiences, the stories you love to tell over and over again with people listening to you in awe. you know in your heart that you were truly alive that day, that minute, that second.

there is this desperate urge to record that experience, to share it, to mark your victorious moment of exuberance in a life that constantly tries to put you down. hold on to it, don’t forget that moment. write it down, sing it, talk about it to your friend even if he seems bored or to your dog if he cares to listen. why? because little grains of happiness like these make up your life, not those pitiful miserable days. find hope in these instances (as cheesy as it sounds) when you’re down. know and trust that good times like these, hell! better times are yet to come. carry these moments to your death bed and smile remembering them. you lived my friend, you had a life.

the ‘you’ you are

why am i sitting here with a cup of jasmine tea in my hand? i don’t even like the taste of tea. why is there indie music playing on the other tab on 8tracks as i write this post, when i’m all about EDM music? wait, this doesn’t seem right- why am i wearing the deepest chocolate coloured nailpaint? is that… is that a maxi size ‘Audrey Hepburn’ poster in my room? woaah, what is up with these lamp shades, these scented candles in vintage candle stands and these scarlet tulips? did a hipster wind invade my life style?

yup, thats probably what the ‘me’ from a month back would be asking myself if she saw me right now. and all i’d be able to respond to her with would probably be a clueless shrug.

we’re all dynamic beings in this world with our tastes, our beliefs and our opinions changing with the seasons. some stay for longer, others change more frequently. and if you haven’t questioned your beliefs yet, you haven’t explored your self thoroughly.

all our school life, our opinions are shaped on the basis of what we are taught. we don’t decide the good and the bad for our selves, we are told what they are. but heyy, no school bashing! every one should be thankful that they were taught- bank robbery= NO NO NO, aspire to become a doctor= YES YES YES! cause you seem to be doing pretty well (yayy school!).

this is where college comes in. your brain has finally matured enough to make your own life choices. they don’t say ‘you can be who ever you want in college man’ in the sense that you can dress up in the jazziest of clothes you own and smoke grass every day (yeah, that too), but because you get to explore and reconstruct yourself. and the best part is, thanks to the confidence you acquired after those grilling teen years in high school (hey don’t worry, there are still so many more opportunities for that if you haven’t gained enough), you no longer have the fear of being judged by your peers, your parents or your teachers.

i came into college with an open mind and started seeing particular situations with different angles. it helped me understand people better and make a better sense out of this world. i shed my beliefs, left with just a strong conscience and values i’ve imbibed since the beginning  to guide me and i’m not regretting it.

i still don’t drink, i still don’t smoke and i don’t have a problem with any one who does. trust me, life is so much more chill.

small/medium/large?

liz: Lemme ask you a question, in all the years you’ve ever undressed for a gentleman has he ever walked out, left?
Sofi: No.
Liz: Because he doesn’t care. He’s in a room with a naked girl. He’s won the lottery. I’m so tired of saying no and waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before. Counting every calorie I consumed so I know exactly how much self-loathing to take into the shower. I’m going for it. I have no interest in being obese; I’m just through with the guilt. So this is what I’m going to do, I’m going to finish this pizza and then we’re going to go watch the soccer game and tomorrow we’re going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans.

-eat pray love

Diwali retires with not just post Diwali blues but also extra added weight thanks to the generous amount of chocolates and sweet boxes handed out with the diwali presents. now if you ask any of my family members, they’d tell you how anxious i get when i put on the littlest amount of weight because i live in this constant fear that once i gain a little, there would be no stopping to it and i will never be able to lose it.

i have a history of going from a size medium to large to medium again and recently, small too (woohoo).

being diagnosed with PCOS a few years back, i struggled to maintain my weight and stop bloating up like a blow fish BUT college happened and thankfully i shed quite a bit of it some how.

i wouldn’t lie, being fit is the happiest feeling i have ever had. not just because i could fit into clothes i always wanted to and carry them off, but because there’s a lot less to be conscious about. increased stamina and improved health are the major perks too of course. not like i loved my self any less before but hey, when i look into the mirror now i see a sharper personality with sharper features. i dont know to what extend becoming a littler thinner has improved my outer beauty but it has definitely done so much for my confidence.

but the real question is, are all those compliments and that minute of self satisfaction when i look my self in the mirror really worth the guilt i go through when i eat a piece of that exquisitely blushing red velvet cheese cake? or the times i really want to indulge in the college junk food with the peeps? and what am i to do about that voice in my head nagging me if i don’t get any exercise that week. i literally get nightmares about me waking up to find myself 10 kg fatter. that can’t be normal, or is it?

but none the less, i really have to go for a run tomorrow morning. Diwali’s over!

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So after a long productive day of decorating the house, making rangoli and lighting diyas it’s time to go out (covering my ears of course) and watching the pretty lights and fire works

men, women and what you’re not supposed to know

“wait, WHAT? but how could she do that to him? how could he take such a thing? and, how could this be true when they looked so happy together? i actually secretly wished to have a relationship like theirs some day, how…”

“trust me priyam, you wouldn’t want that. you have no idea how girls can manipulate guys in ways so covert that they don’t even realize what hit them. it’s mildly evil.”

4 months into college and i have already learnt so much about life (or so i think) but this is one revelation that perturbed me the most and still continues to do so. almost through out the 18 years of my life, i have been this quirky little girl not paying much attention to the social human tactics. i never knew how to flirt ( haven’t learnt it still), was always scared to make eye contact with boys and always ended up talking about internet or football in an excited high pitched, border line shriek-ish voice with them at the parties. sooo not sexy.

so i have recently had an overdose of hearing boys whine about how some girls are ‘sooo stupid and bitchy’ and then to my surprise, i have seen the same self proclaimed intellectual sons of Newton (okay bad reference considering Newton was a Virgin) go after the same ‘stupid and bitchy girls’ and fall deeply, madly and truly in love with them *pukes*. so i couldn’t help but think that boys are hypocrites! all of them!

so i thought its high time i get to know how this works. being in an all-girls college (kill me) and interacting with a lot of girls, i realized that my gender has this fascinating potential to use not just their beauty as commonly perceived, but just their mere woman-ness to their advantage. just like the sirens (the femme fatales who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music and voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island). okay maybe thats a little extreme, but you get the point- if the power used correctly it can render the other helpless to this pull.

but heyy, what about those genuinely intellectually superior men who are emotionally strong enough to resist the pull? why would they go for the same girls they consider inferior? well, i proposed the same question to one such friend to put an end to my curiosity.

his answer – ” look i can have a decent conversation with you even if most of it involves us arguing and debating upon anything ranging from politics to pizza toppings. i guess that’s precisely why we are friends (because strangling the other would put you in jail) but i wouldn’t prefer some one so strongly opinionated as my girl friend. i love how *** (present girlfriend)’s eyes light up when i tell her something ever so little interesting.” it might have brought out the typical male chauvinistic thinking but i have to agree that what he said about his girlfriend was pretty cute.

so i still don’t know how these romantic attractions tick and honestly, after attaining so much enlightenment on the matter i plan to give up on romance for a bit (or more).